Puppy Love: What to Do When Your Child Has a Crush

by Julie Hunt (more about me)

What to do when your child has puppy love... first crushes can be tough on a parent! Here's some tips.

Ah, Puppy Love…

Valentine’s Day is upon us, and love is in the air. Conversation hearts, swapping little paper cards with classmates… it makes me think of the story of my nephew’s first crush. He was 5 years old and was on a trip to Disney World.

There he met Minnie Mouse and turned to tell his mother, “I think I’m in love, Mommy!” Although his proclamation caught her off-guard, she handled it like a pro. “I can certainly see why you’d feel that way. She’s very lovely.”

Younger crushes are easy to sort out, but what about crushes older children develop? How can you help your lovestruck child through the choppy waters of puppy love?


Puppy Love Rule #1:  Keep Calm

What to do when your child has puppy love... first crushes can be tough on a parent! Here's some tips.

This situation probably isn’t as serious as you think. Adolescents can be a bit dramatic at times. Remember your first crush?

Even though the emotions feel genuine, the odds are that any “relationship” is short-lived — if there’s a relationship at all. So keep a level head and a listening ear.


Puppy Love Rule #2:  Define the Terms

What to do when your child has puppy love... first crushes can be tough on a parent! Here's some tips.

Let your child explain to you what she means when she uses the terms boyfriend or going out. You may discover that what she thinks and what you think are completely different things.

If she’s not talking about having a boyfriend herself, she may tell you about a friend who does. Ask her about what that means and you’ll unlock a door to her world.


Puppy Love Rule #3:  Don’t Pester

What to do when your child has puppy love... first crushes can be tough on a parent! Here's some tips.

We know! You’re curious and you want the details, but he may not want to share… or even have the words to know how to talk to you about it. If you tease or criticize, believe me, any chance for a conversation will be over quicker than you can say “puppy love.”


Puppy Love Rule #4:  Set Limits

What to do when your child has puppy love... first crushes can be tough on a parent! Here's some tips.
For a pre-teen, puppy love is common. If the attraction is mutual, it’s a good idea to allow the friendship to develop slowly. Talking on the phone together could be a safe way for them to learn about how to communicate with the opposite sex.

For a teen, seeing each other at school or church is one thing, but dating one-on-one is quite another. It’s probably a good idea to set a firm boundary of group outings only.

And you should keep tabs on electronic devices and set boundaries for how/if texting or picture messaging are to be used with the opposite sex. (To teach your child about digital safety the easy way, check out Safe Kids 101.)


Puppy Love Rule #5:  Love Hurts!

What to do when your child has puppy love... first crushes can be tough on a parent! Here's some tips.

If your child winds up with a broken heart, answer back with sincere empathy. If you went through a similar experience, talk about it. Identifying with her can build a stronger connection between parent and child, making it more likely for her to confide in you in the future.

And remember, you’re helping her navigate the uncharted waters of relationships with the opposite sex — so supporting her through a breakup the healthy way will help her as she matures. Tell her it’s normal to feel hurt when others don’t return the feelings we have for them. Help her move on at a good pace, in a healthy way.

It’s not easy on a parent when your child has his first crush… or later, his first relationship. Remind yourself that this can be a good thing — ultimately, all these experiences will grow him into a healthy adult who makes wise relationship choices. And who wouldn’t want that for their kids?

Hmm… it occurs to me that my nephew is almost ready for his first prom! Oh, how time flies. Think I should remind him that his first love was a mouse?


Want More Parenting Tips?

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About Julie Hunt
I’ve lived a full life with many unimaginable joys and heartache like you wouldn’t believe. Our blog exists to encourage folks to slow down, chill out, and love more.