The Shockingly Simple Way to Fix Your Child’s Bad Attitude

Did you know that grateful people are happier? It turns out, gratitude can actually make you feel more energized… and it totally has a snowball effect, too — once you start keeping track of your blessings (be it mentally or in a gratitude journal a la Ann Voskamp), you actually find MORE things to be grateful for!

Wouldn’t you want that for your kids? I mean, who doesn’t want happier, healthier, smarter kids? Our goal here at Smart Kids 101 is to help you achieve that, and believe us when we say we’ve seen it all. You don’t have a leading program on manners and etiquette for kids and not have a few — ahem — stories. But raising a kid minus the attitude is actually more simple than it seems. The key is this…

a grateful heart.

It’s only natural to want our children to appreciate the things we do for them. Unfortunately, being thankful doesn’t come naturally. So what things can you do to reinforce an attitude of gratitude in your kids?

Start early

Develop a sense of gratitude in your child by connecting helpful behavior with appropriate responses.

A 1-year-old hands a block to a parent (over and over and over again!) who thanks them every time.

When a 2-year-old obeys, mom or dad should respond with a sincere “thanks.” Hearing these words early and often will help build a strong foundation of gratitude.

Encourage appropriate behavior

Clearly outline which words need to be said and when to say them. If your 3-year-old asks for water without saying, “Please,” tell him: “I will be happy to get you water, but you need to say ‘May I have water, please?‘” If they forget to say thank you, say: “I did something nice for you. You need to tell me ‘thank you.’” Don’t worry if you feel like a broken record — training requires consistency.

Test them as they mature

As you hand a sack lunch to your middle school daughter, gently say, “Sweetie, I’m glad you take your lunch to school and I’m glad I get to fix it for you!” One day — as gratitude forms in your daughter’s heart — she may reply, “Thanks, mom, I appreciate your fixing it. You’re a good mom.”

Nip demands in the bud

Resolve not to fulfill demanding requests from your child. Inform them, “That isn’t the best way to ask for something,” and redirect the behavior.

Monkey see, monkey do

If you show appreciation, your child will model your behavior. Begin by talking to your kids about the things that you are grateful for. It could be as simple as saying, “Man, I am so thankful for this beautiful day so we can go outside and play.”

While at the grocery store, mention to your kids that you’re grateful that you have the ability to purchase wholesome food to keep their bodies strong. It doesn’t have to be a speech that would bring Roosevelt to tears, just a simple articulation of what you’re (hopefully) already thinking! And always express appreciation to your spouse within earshot of your child.

Acknowledge and accept their compliments

If your son thanks you for going to his JV and Varsity football games all season long, don’t respond with an “Oh, sure honey, what else would I do?” Since you want him to realize you have given him the gift of your time, tell him, “You’re welcome and thanks for noticing!”

The bottom line is this: if you don’t expect gratitude from your child, you probably won’t get it. While starting early in the child’s life is best, the same basic principles apply for all ages. It’s never too late to start. And, thanks for reading the blog!

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About Aubrey Hunt
Before hopping on the crazy ride we call motherhood, I studied engineering and taught math and science to middle and high school students. Now, perhaps like you, I fill my days singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider and praying my preschooler will eat a vegetable — any vegetable!