How to Raise Kids to Do Chores & Learn Discipline!

Ask who wants to do chores and see how many hands go up. What… Nobody? Seriously?

While nobody likes them, they HAVE to be done. I’ve got clothes in the dryer that have been waiting to be folded for two days. (Did I really just admit that? Yes. Yes, I did.) Unfortunately, the Laundry Fairy hasn’t arrived yet. Wouldn’t that be nice?

The thing is, chores will always be around. My house, your house, our kids’ future homes. That’s right. The goal is that someday in the future (WAY in the future), they will go live in homes of their own.

So teaching our kids — girls and boys alike — how to do chores now doesn’t merely help our workload. It also sets them up for success in their future households.

Teaching Your Kids to Do Chores

1. First Get Them Moving and Motivated!

• I look to my old friend and role model Mary Poppins for wisdom here. “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and SNAP the job’s a game!” So asking your children to clean their bathroom becomes “Who can get all the spots off his mirror first?” Tape off a square of tile on the floor and have your youngster sweep all the cereal bits into it. Stomp on cardboard boxes to flatten them for recycling. You get the idea… it’s ALL about the setup. Sneaky.

• Verbal cues will help get little ones started. You may find that older kids stay focused with chore charts or lists. You might have to try a few things, but once you find a system that works for your family,  stick with it. Which brings me to my next point…
• Continuity is crucial when training young ones to be a helper. If you always expect the same thing, the expectation becomes the norm.

2. Set Good Expectations

There are lots of guides online for Age-Chore readiness. Check out our Pinterest board on Chores, Money, and Business for Kids for tons of helpful ideas.

To get you started, here are a few suggestions for each age range:

Ages 2-4

Start this age group with simple tasks like wiping up messes, putting away toys, and placing dirty clothes in a laundry hamper.  Personal hygiene like combing hair and brushing teeth (with supervision) are also appropriate.

Ages 5-6

A big one at this age is keeping their rooms clean and toys tidy in common places. Getting the mail after school can be fun, and they should be able to wield a broom and dustpan without too much trouble (but obviously a little practice!). Have them learn how to set the table properly for every meal you eat together. And add more personal care expectations like putting on shoes and tying laces.

Ages 7-9

Children this age should be able to feed family pets, help put away the groceries, and load the dishwasher. Have them pitch in with their laundry, teaching them to take responsibility for the clothes they wear. Brushing and flossing teeth unassisted is also expected for this age group.

Ages 10-12

Pre-teens can easily be responsible for taking out the trash, sorting the recyclables, doing the dishes, and putting away the laundry. Have older kids help supervise younger ones as they’re learning to do chores. In the personal care category, we add showering regularly and (AHEM) applying deodorant daily.

Ages 13 and up

In addition to all of the chores listed above, this age group can add simple meal preparation (and planning!), yard work and mowing, operating a washer and dryer, or cleaning a bathroom. Personal care includes all of the aforementioned and — if not already started — shaving.

Remember, kids mature at different paces so you may need to tweak the above guidelines for your family. When they’re first starting out with a chore, they won’t do it perfectly. Reset your expectations to account for this. Take a deep breath and remember the point is not perfection, but rather to guide children to personal responsibility and helping others.

3. How to Keep it Organized

This is my favorite part — and there are SO many ideas for chore charts and other organization. Our Pinterest board is a great collection of ideas, including:

• Daily or weekly magnetic chore charts. You can keep a chart for each child and mix up the job distribution each week, or you can have children work together to complete a family chore chart. Make your own or use one like these Melissa and Doug Magnetic Chore Charts. (That’s an affiliate link.) It’s pretty inexpensive… we have it and love it!
• For a different format, try a chore jar with popsicle sticks or slips of paper. Put in the weekly tasks and have them pull a couple of jobs each day — maybe extra ones if they need to “repay” you for poor behavior or want to earn a little more screen time.
• A “Work for Hire” board is an awesome way to get those random tasks done, You know, the ones that aren’t on the chore charts because they don’t have to be done weekly — like washing bathroom mats or sweeping out the garage. Clip the chore to be completed to a dollar bill. Once the job is done, Mom or Dad inspects and doles out the cash!
• The ChoreMonster App looks like a neat digital way to keep up with tasks to be done. It has fun bonuses for kids, like earning cute little “monsters,” and you can build-in your own rewards for kids to work towards.

Remember, the goal here is to encourage independence as kids grow. Whether you choose to do allowance or not, much of the chore thing is learning how to participate in and contribute to family life together. It will serve them well when they begin their own families in the future. (WAY in the future…)

Starting in childhood — as early as possible — lays a solid foundation for a lifetime of helping, serving, volunteering — generally thinking of others. And who wouldn’t want that?

Wishing a whole fleet of Laundry Fairies come your way!

READ NEXT: Top 10 Fun Activities for Kids

About Aubrey Hunt
Before hopping on the crazy ride we call motherhood, I studied engineering and taught math and science to middle and high school students. Now, perhaps like you, I fill my days singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider and praying my preschooler will eat a vegetable — any vegetable!